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The global war on citizenship
Published: 2026-10-28 10:30:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:30:57
Ilhan Omar is onstage talking into a mic
The move to strip citizens of their passports and their rights is not a new one, nor is it limited to the United States and Rep. Ilhan Omar. | Stephen Maturen/Getty Images

What do a Bollywood actor, a member of Congress, and Israeli directors have in common? 

It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. The punchline, though, is that governments of India, the United States, and Israel, respectively, think they should be stripped of their national status.

Bollywood star Imran Khan, nephew of Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan, was told he has until October 28 (and since extended to November 2) to leave India, where he resides on an Overseas Citizen of India (OCI) card. India doesn’t allow dual citizenship, but OCI status gives individuals of Indian descent and their family members the right to permanently live, work, and study in India; its revocation uproots its holders from their homes and their lives. Khan had protested in a demonstration demanding the resignation of Gyanesh Kumar, India’s chief election commission. He is challenging the order in court.

Earlier this month, US Rep. Ilhan Omar’s home was raided by federal authorities who are reportedly preparing a case to strip her of citizenship, alleging that her father said she was 17 when she was really 18 when he filed her naturalization paperwork. President Donald Trump subsequently said that, because a federal court filing allegedly referred to her as “Ilhan Nur Said Elmi, a/k/a Ilhan Abdullahi Omar,” she should have to resign from Congress.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has intimated that Yuval Abraham and Rachel Szor, directors of the film NAZA, in which Abraham interviews Israeli soldiers and intelligence officers on Tel Aviv rooftops about how they assessed and decided to kill civilians in Gaza, could be stripped of their Israeli citizenship, saying he would pursue legislation to go after critics of the military who crossed a line. “We will revoke citizenship for anyone who defames IDF soldiers around the world — he will be deeply hurt in his pocket,” said Netanyahu, who cited the filmmakers as a potential example and called their work “intolerable.”

The move to strip citizens of their passports and their rights is not a new one, nor is it limited to these three countries. Perhaps most famously, Jews were stripped of citizenship by the Nazis in Germany and elsewhere in Europe in the 1930s and ’40s. To take a more recent example, over the summer, Russia passed legislation that effectively strips Russians abroad facing domestic prosecution on political grounds of their citizenship (the law takes away their property, freezes their bank accounts, and refuses them consular services).

Still, that three high-profile cases are coming from three countries that claim to be democracies raises the question: Why do reactionary leaders in democracies reach for denaturalization (or quasi-denaturalization, in the case of loss of OCI) as a weapon against political and cultural elites? What do they hope to gain? And, relatedly: What might they lose instead?

It’s not just about the high-profile targets

Reactionary leaders do not typically threaten to make an example of high-profile political opponents or cultural elites as a first step. In each of these cases, there are demographic groups — whole swathes of the population — whose governments have been trying to disenfranchise, denaturalize, or deport them (or some combination of the three) long before the recent spate of high-profile headlines. 

In India, there’s currently a politicized election integrity push that experts warn could illegitimately prevent tens of millions of voters from marginalized groups, especially Muslims, from participating in elections. What should have been a routine clean up of voter rolls ended up with 130 million — nearly 10 percent of the population — struck off the lists. The sweeping approach has raised widespread concern from critics that many voters will be incorrectly removed — and deep suspicions that this disenfranchisement is targeted and intentional.  

Mukulika Banerjee, a professor of anthropology at the London School of Economics, noted this happened after the position of chief election commissioner was made partisan and given immunity for life. And while normally in India (unlike in the United States) the onus is on the state, not individuals, to register voters, in this case, the state said that if people were to be put back on the voter rolls, they “had to produce a whole bunch of documents…which by implication affected the socially disadvantaged,” per Banerjee. 

That meant women, people from lower castes, rural voters — and, since “the Muslim population amongst the most seriously socially disadvantaged, the likelihood of Muslims falling in this category is very high,” Banerjee, author of Cultivating Democracy: Politics and Citizenship in Agrarian India, said. In places like West Bengal, where Muslims make up nearly 30 percent of the population, there were some assembly constituencies where, in elections earlier this year, the number of names deleted from the rolls was greater than the margin of victory, and while anti-incumbent sentiment was high and the BJP may well have won anyway, some, per Banerjee, are asking, “was this an attempt to choose the electorate, so to speak.”

In the United States, the Trump administration has made denaturalization a priority, hoping to find people they can make an example of as part of their broader immigration crackdown. They have already filed to strip dozens of Americans of their citizenship by claiming they lied on their naturalization paperwork (“Justice Department Moves to Strip Citizenship from 40 Criminals in Largest Single-Period Filing Under the Trump Administration,” a press release from earlier this month crowed). The White House also tried, unsuccessfully, to revoke America’s constitutional right to birthright citizenship, which could have left future generations far more vulnerable to removal or persecution.

And in Israel, Palestinians have long been made to feel the weight of citizenship — and the heft of its absence. This is not only true in, say, the West Bank, where Jews live as citizens but Palestinians live under occupation and military law, but in East Jerusalem, where most Palestinians are permanent residents, not citizens, meaning they cannot vote in general elections for the Israeli legislature.

“That is a tool that Israel has used in a different way that could easily be transplanted to citizens,” said Mairav Zonszein, senior analyst on Israel at Crisis Group. And if you can strip residency from Palestinians in Jerusalem, maybe you can strip citizenship, too. “If this government is reelected, I could see that becoming a less and less crazy idea” as what was once unthinkable becomes “normalized.” Palestinian citizens in Israel have expressed the same concern.

The chilling effect of deportation threats 

How — and why — does an aspiring authoritarian move from threatening the rights and status of demographic groups to going after elites?

Sometimes, the elites are — in addition to being outspoken and high profile — from the demographic group under threat.

Several years before Khan’s OCI status came under threat, the Modi government took journalist Aatish Taseer’s OCI card from him. This happened in 2019 — months after Taseer authored a Time story with “India’s Divider in Chief” plastered across the cover, after which the prime minister himself said, “Time Magazine is foreign. The writer has also said he comes from a Pakistani political family. That is enough for his credibility.” Taseer’s father was indeed a Pakistani political figure, but this was hardly some secret of which Taseer had made offhand mention; Taseer had written about his father and the role his absence and rediscovery in his life, including in his first book, Stranger to History: A Son’s Journey Through Islamic Lands.

And so with Imran Khan, Taseer said in a phone interview, there is an element of, “Just get the Muslim out” (Khan’s mother is Muslim). In Taseer’s own case, he said, he became “the Paki.”

The same is true at least in one high-profile case in the United States: Omar is Muslim and from Somalia, two groups that frequently attract the ire of the Trump administration. Recently, Trump urged Minnesotans to “fight back” against Somali immigrants before the state is “taken over.” Omar is also a prominent and progressive member of Congress. 

“It’s got these two levels,” Taseer said. “One is an ethnonationalist agenda. The other is a blunt instrument of coercion.” If you speak out too freely, Taseer added, “you won’t be able to return home.”

The blunt instrument, though, is more narrowly applied than, say, stripping people from voter rolls en masse. It is designed to cause fear among elites: journalists and actors and academics.

And it is meant, Banerjee said, to raise the price of protest.

The government’s first instinct, she said, is to call protesters terrorists and anti-nationals, rather than citizens exercising their rights: “They don’t seem to understand that to peacefully protest is there in…the constitution.”

And by taking a Bollywood star’s OCI status, the government can “make an example and say, look, we can take the biggest and the richest and the most prominent.” It is a message to the rich and the famous and the powerful: Do not think you are bigger than government coercion. You are not.

Whether it works is almost beside the point. Trump is facing an uphill legal battle in proving that an error committed by Omar’s father, if indeed any error exists, means she should lose her citizenship. Omar has said she sees the administration’s goal as exhausting and intimidating her to the point she leaves politics — something she says will not happen. 

And, it’s unlikely, Zonszein said, that Abraham and Szor will actually be stripped of citizenship given Israel’s own judicial protections. But, “It’s an empty threat, but one that works, because it chills dissent, it stifles it, it makes people scared.”

It also suggests that, regardless of whether you’re a member of the targeted group, or have some special status that could set you apart, power can come for you, too. That can scare people out of speaking out for the marginalized. It can also alert them into the need for doing so.

“When it happens in a democracy, one has to always keep one’s radar attuned to who is suddenly becoming prey, whether it’s LGBT in Russia or now in Turkey or in this case in India, Muslims, Taseer said. ”It’s sort of — what they’re going to those people, they’re going to eventually do to the population at large. It’s not one of those things where they’re like, ah, let us do this little thing, and then you guys can all live happily ever after. It’s generally always accompanied by a deeper authoritarian turn.”

For example, in addition to threatening Abraham and Szor, Israel has revoked the entry permits of American Jews who volunteered to work with and protect Palestinian farmers during harvests and froze aliyah — the name for the process by which Jews abroad immigrate — of two Jews over their pro-Palestinian West Bank activism, which, as Israeli outlet Haaretz reported, could be a violation of Israeli law guaranteeing the right of all Jews around the world the right to move to Israel and become citizens. 

“I mean, anybody with their head on straight would say, if you treat one person this way, it’s not that hard to treat another person this way,” Zonszein said. “That’s pretty basic, obvious stuff.” 

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Partial results from Israel's contentious election show no clear winner
Feed: NPR Topics: News (https://feeds.npr.org/1001/rss.xml)
Published: 2026-10-28 08:46:47 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:28:58
People spray sparkling wine as they celebrate early exit poll results for Israel

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's right-wing bloc was leading opposition rival Gadi Eisenkot. Arab parties had a strong showing, and a key question now is whether Eisenkot's bloc will consider forming a coalition with them.

(Image credit: Oded Balilty)

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U.S. military strikes alleged drug boat in Pacific, killing 5 people
Published: 2026-10-28 12:11:41 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:28:57
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Russell Brand tells court he ‘misused’ fame for ‘reckless philandering’ – latest updates
Published: 2026-10-28 16:14:36 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:25:00

Brand, 51, who has been charged with three counts of rape says he acted ‘consensually’

  • Content warning: this article contains references to allegations of sexual abuse which some readers might find distressing

Winter moved on to count 5, in which a woman alleged Brand sexually assaulted her when she was in her 20s and working at a radio station in 2004 or 2005.

Winter asked Brand whether he “sloppily kissed her”.

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Свой игровой сервер на Linux: от systemd до Docker на примере Minecraft и Valheim
Feed: Все публикации подряд на Хабре (https://habr.com/ru/rss/articles/)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:22:09 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:23:59

Когда друг в очередной раз спрашивает: «А давай поднимем свой сервер, чтобы никто не выключал?», — начинаешь гуглить и натыкаешься либо на видео сомнительного качества, либо на форумные треды десятилетней давности. А хочется, чтобы сервер работал, обновлялся, не падал и не открывал дыру в безопасности. Эта статья — практический разбор двух подходов к организации игрового сервера на Linux: «голое железо» с systemd и контейнеризация через Docker. На примере Minecraft (как самой частой истории) и Valheim (как примера из мира Steam). Без магии, с командами и конфигами.

Что нужно решить до первой команды

Прежде чем ставить пакеты, ответьте на три вопроса. От них зависит всё остальное.

Железо. Minecraft — игра, которая любит одно ядро и много памяти. Официальные требования начинаются от 1 ГБ RAM для ванильного сервера, но для 5–10 игроков уже стоит ориентироваться на 2–4 ГБ. Для модовых сборок цифры умножаются: 3 ГБ хватит на 3–8 игроков, 4 ГБ — на 8–15, а дальше — как повезёт с конкретными модами. Valheim требует минимум 4 ядра и 2 ГБ RAM, но на практике стабильнее себя чувствует с запасом.

ОС. Ubuntu 22.04/24.04 LTS или Debian 12+ — самые «обкатанные» варианты для игровых серверов. На старых дистрибутивах Valheim может не запуститься из‑за устаревшей glibc (нужна версия 2.29+). Если железо старое, Docker часто становится обходным путём, потому что тащит свои зависимости.

Подход. systemd на хосте — прозрачность и контроль. Docker — воспроизводимость и лёгкость обновлений. Ниже — оба варианта.

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Flávio Bolsonaro Flees Brazil for the U.S., and How ChatGPT Laid Out a Dangerous Medical Plan
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:07 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:23:03
Plus, robot-dog walkers wanted: $20 an hour.
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Feed: Все публикации подряд на Хабре (https://habr.com/ru/rss/articles/)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:21:53 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:22:58

8 октября 2026 года наш облачный провайдер потерял дата-центр, в котором работала вся наша инфраструктура. Через трое суток то же самое случилось со второй площадкой, на которую мы к тому моменту успели переехать. За неделю мы дважды поднимали платформу почти с нуля. Как говорится в меме: да, это я, и как я докатился до жизни такой…

Небольшой спойлер итога ситуации, которую я буду разбирать дальше: мы безвозвратно потеряли данные за 20 часов, прошедших с последнего резервного копирования. Сервисы переехали сначала в соседнюю зону того же облака, потом к другому провайдеру, а миграцию в Kubernetes, начатую год назад, мы закончили за двое суток. Базы данных теперь хранятся в двух копиях у разных провайдеров.

Ниже разобрал, как всё было, что помогло ускориться при переезде и где мы потеряли время на собственной ошибке.

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Authorities say the attacker in Belgrade was an underage male who was being monitored by security services.
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Выпущена версия Jmix 3.1
Feed: Все публикации подряд на Хабре (https://habr.com/ru/rss/articles/)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:18:24 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:19:58

Выпущен Jmix 3.1. В нём представлены два новых дополнения и несколько UI-компонентов, которые раньше приходилось создавать вручную. Кроме того, дополнение Dynamic Model выходит из экспериментального статуса, а новый инструмент командной строки позволяет создавать проекты без IDE. Spring Boot обновлён до версии 4.1, а Vaadin — до 25.3.

Ниже приведён краткий обзор основных новых возможностей. Полный список изменений, включая все критические изменения, доступен в разделе Что нового документации.

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Feed: Все публикации подряд на Хабре (https://habr.com/ru/rss/articles/)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:13:16 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:14:58

Общепризнано, что формализм квантовой механики полностью подтвержден в ходе проведенных экспериментов. Однако остается не совсем понятным, что измерения говорят об исходной квантовой системе. В предыдущей статье 'Как движется броуновская частица при отсутствии измерений?' были рассмотрены два критерия Баса ван Фраассена для обсуждения связи между измерениями и теорией: определенность значения и достоверность измерения. Особенность квантовой механики в том, что от первого критерия приходится отказаться - нельзя сказать, что в измерении найдено одно из значений, существовавших до проведений измерения.

В этой статье обсуждается вопрос, как следует в таком случае интерпретировать достоверность измерения. Предлагается трактовать измерение в реальном эксперименте как испытание случайной величины, задаваемой правилом Борна. Тогда достоверность можно трактовать аналогичным образом, как в случае броуновского движения. Выборка измерений позволяет получить достоверные характеристики случайной величины, задаваемой физической теорией; это утверждение относится также к одному измерению, когда выборка состоит из одной величины.

Правда, для предложенной картины необходимо исключить коллапс волновой функции. Это достигается в модальной интерпретации квантовой механики, предложенной ван Фраассеном. Рассмотрение отталкивается от схемы Джона фон Неймана, но говорится, что коллапс волновой функции является одной из интерпретаций квантовой механики. Можно поменять рассмотрение таким образом, что в конце останется только правило Борна без коллапса. Определенная загадка, что говорит квантовая механика о мире остается, но в модальной интерпретации можно говорить о достоверности измерений в реальных экспериментах на основе квантовой механики.

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A bitter night in Israel for all who craved a fresh start. Netanyahu survives for now – and we are more divided than ever | Dahlia Scheindlin
Published: 2026-10-28 10:08:29 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:14:01

Exit polls gave the opposition hope, but then reality dawned. With most votes going to rightwing parties, the prospects for the left and centre now look bleak

Following Israel’s nail-biting election, nearly every political community in the country experienced triumph and despair. The initial results swung wildly from the first exit polls to the slow real-vote count; the bloc of parties loyal to the prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, might yet win, and each side feels that its fate hangs in the balance.

So far, only one certainty remains: Israel’s bitter divisions are deeper than ever.

Dahlia Scheindlin is a political analyst in Tel Aviv

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Published: 2026-10-28 09:15:23 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:14:00
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Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:12:57

The U.S.-Israeli war on Iran and conflict with the Iran-backed Houthis of Yemen have unsettled Saudi Arabia, a kingdom unused to conflicts playing out on home turf.

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At least 64 killed in train collision on high-speed line in Spain
Feed: ABC News: Top Stories (https://abcnews.go.com/abcnews/topstories)
Published: 2026-10-28 13:14:56 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:11:00
At least 64 people were killed after two trains collided on Spain's Madrid-Andalucía high-speed line, a spokeswoman for the Castilla-La Mancha region said.
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Dozens are dead in a high-speed train crash in Spain
Feed: NPR Topics: News (https://feeds.npr.org/1001/rss.xml)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:09:46 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:10:58
Emergency services attend to the victims at the scene of a collision between two trains in Urda, Spain, on Wednesday.

The toll is rising after a high-speed train between slammed into the rear of another train that had stopped south of Madrid, derailing two cars. It was Spain's second major train accident this year.

(Image credit: Juanma Jiménez)

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Losing my legs ended my football dream - now skiing gives me freedom
Published: 2026-10-28 06:16:37 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:10:57
Adam Golebiewski was only 17 when he needed a double amputation after a car crash.
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We are seeing the rise of psychopatriarchy everywhere | V (Formerly Eve Ensler)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:03 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:09:59

Psychopatriarchy is jet fuel to racism, colonialism, imperialism and capitalism

For those of us who have spent our lives trying to dismantle this endlessly destructive paradigm of patriarchy, it has become increasingly clear in recent months that something more terrifying is afoot.

The wheels are off the cart. We are in the midst of a chaotic, demented acceleration of the most violent and cruel aspects of this system which has evolved into what I am calling Psychopatriarchy.

V (formerly Eve Ensler) is a playwright and activist and the founder of V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls

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‘There is no inevitable dystopia’: Jeanette Winterson on AI and the future of humanity
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:05 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:09:59

The author believes we are at a turning point as a species – and even in the shadow of big tech it’s up to us how we want to proceed

‘I am a storyteller by trade,” writes Jeanette Winterson on the first page of her 2021 book 12 Bytes, an idiosyncratic and thought-provoking series of essays in which she considered just how artificial intelligence might change everything about our lives. “And I know everything we do is a fiction until it’s a fact: the dream of flying, the dream of space travel, the dream of speaking to someone instantly, across time and space, the dream of not dying – or of returning.”

She had already been thinking about our possible futures for at least 15 years – her 2007 novel, The Stone Gods, for instance, imagined a post-climate catastrophe world populated by robots and humans who never age, while 12 Bytes was preceded by Frankisstein: A Love Story, which alternates a recreation of the summer Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein with a trans doctor’s travels among present-day cryogenecists and AI-enabled robots.

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Loves me, loves me not: Trump and allies target Fox News over coverage
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:05 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:09:59

In social media posts, president has said network is ‘doing little to help’ Republican party in midterm elections

Donald Trump has always viewed conservative media as a tool to help him and his party achieve political victory and stay in power. But with polls flashing red for his party ahead of next week’s midterm elections, the president and his allies have trained their fire on the most prominent player in the space: Fox News.

For years, the president has criticized Fox’s non-partisan polling operation, and in recent weeks he has called out the network for not sufficiently airing his midterm rallies – even when they are not particularly newsworthy.

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China’s Electric Carmakers Are Running Out of Domestic Buyers
Published: 2026-10-28 10:07:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:09:58
Plus, Netanyahu faces a high-stakes showdown over whether he will stay in office, and the brutal Harvard class everyone wants to take.
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Zookeeper dies after leopard attack
Feed: The Latest News from the UK and Around the World | Sky News (https://feeds.skynews.com/feeds/rss/home.xml)
Published: 2026-10-28 08:36:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:07:59
A woman has died after being attacked by a leopard at the safari park where she spent almost her entire 40-year career.
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Bonfire Night policing in Scotland will be 'largest operation since Trump visit'
Published: 2026-10-28 06:15:15 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:07:58
As many as 1,700 officers could be deployed to deal with fireworks-related disorder, a European football match and potential protests in Glasgow.
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Legal bid to overturn Drumcree march ban fails
Published: 2026-10-28 15:56:21 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:07:58
The High Court in Belfast has ruled that Sir Chris Bryant's decision made on 9 October was lawful.
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Странные олдскульные технологии, которые так и не взлетели, часть 6
Feed: Все публикации подряд на Хабре (https://habr.com/ru/rss/articles/)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:05:09 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:06:58

Продолжаем обзор нелепых, странных и неудавшихся технологий, без которых картина мироздания была бы незаконченной.

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Analysis raises questions about pages missing from the Epstein files
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:05:57
The Justice Department has released more than 3 million pages of material related to the Jeffrey Epstein investigation, but questions remain about what may have been left out. Nicole Sganga reports for the CBS News Investigative Unit.
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Classified material missing from Epstein files, documents suggest
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:05:57
Missing pages and a reference to classified documents contradict the Justice Department's claims about the Epstein files.
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The Secret Story Of Crowning The Sexiest Man Alive
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:05:57
It started in 1985 with Mel Gibson (by accident), and it has been starting arguments ever since. People Magazine Editor-in-Chief Charlotte Triggs reveals how the Sexiest Man Alive is chosen and what tea she can spill on past winners. Then Vlad and Kelly zoom out: like James Bond, every winner is a mirror of his era, so what does crowning Noah Wyle tell us about 2026 and what it means to be a sexy man? (Sponsored by Casamigos) Before you shake up anything at home, a quick reminder from us: please drink responsibly. And remember, our recipes can be tweaked to make a great mocktail too.
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Please Let the Internet Die
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:00 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:05:01
Online spaces are captured by oligarchs and saturated with slop—and they’re exacerbating humanity’s worst impulses. It’s time to start over.
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I Thought Running Would Make Me Worthy of Love
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:02 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:04:59
—whitebalance.space—Getty Images

Endurance sports are having a moment. Run clubs, marathons, and ultramarathons have never been more popular. In North America, ultramarathon finishes have roughly tripled since 2010, exceeding 150,000 runners last year, according to UltraRunning magazine. 

I understand the appeal. I spent years competing in some of the world’s most difficult endurance races, finding satisfaction and eventually a professional career in seeing how far I could push myself. But as more runners test their limits, I hope they’ll also ask themselves what they need those achievements to prove. For me, winning became a way to feel worthy of love. Every finish line offered reassurance that lasted only until I started worrying about the next race. 

It took losing my professional running career to understand why I needed that reassurance so badly. The story began long before I laced up a pair of shoes and entered a race. 

Divorce and my parents’ own troubled upbringings made my childhood difficult. As an adult, I can now see that my parents were unable to provide the safe, nurturing, and stable environment a kid deserves. 

My young mind came to a conclusion that many children do: I must not be good enough the way that I am. Love, attention, and care, I believed, were all things that you had to earn. 

As a teenager, I was desperate for the attention I rarely received at home. My grades were good, but not scholarship level; I was on the cross-country team and acted in school plays, but was never the standout star in either. 

Despite my best efforts, nothing worked. That is, until I found success in ultrarunning. 

At 15 years old, I watched my mother train and complete her first marathon. I was mesmerized. Maybe I could win her affection by doing what I’d seen her do. 

Later that year, I crossed the finish line of the San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon. I loved the challenge, but I wanted more. Within a few years, I was running my first 50-mile ultramarathon. As part of my senior project, I pledged to run 100 miles around my high school track while fundraising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in honor of a friend who was battling cancer. 

The ensuing media coverage was much more than I expected. To be honest, I loved the attention. Suddenly I felt seen by my mom. Again, I wanted more. 

At 19, I finished Badwater, a 135-mile race across Death Valley in July. A year later, I flew out to Minnesota and completed the Arrowhead 135, in which I pulled a sled across the frozen landscape for nearly 54 hours. By age 20, I had attempted the Barkley Marathons for the first time, a race so difficult that in its 40-year history, only 20 people had ever officially finished. It would take me two more attempts navigating heinous trails through the hillsides of Tennessee to ultimately finish the race in 2013, becoming finisher 13.

Soon I was flying across the world, competing in 200-mile races, and living the life of a professional trail runner. It was everything I could have hoped for: the attention, the praise, the pre-race interviews, and the post-race adulation. And yet a part of me knew that if I didn’t win every race I entered, the worthlessness that I’d kept at bay for so long would drown me. 

In 2018, that tidal wave finally came crashing over me. I had been diagnosed with a congenital bicuspid valve in my heart, and the resulting aortic aneurysm meant open-heart surgery. 

Just like that, my professional running career was over, and with it went my path to validation. I had lived my whole life up to that point working for my worth; it was never inherent. If I couldn’t achieve results, who was I? Did I even exist? How could I be loved without having earned anything? 

I spent the next five years dismantling my own self-worth from sport through therapy. The first and most pressing thing I had to face was the threat of suicide and self-harm. Running, it turns out, was protective of the deep-seated worthlessness I had developed from childhood. 

Through intensive dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), medication, and an inpatient program, I curbed the more life-threatening aspects. DBT taught me awareness and the skills of emotional regulation. Later, lifespan integration and internal family systems therapy helped bring the roots of my childhood trauma to light and ultimately helped me place the hurt and shame back to their origin with my parents. 

Slowly, I began to develop the understanding that I could be enough without having to achieve.

This lesson was never screamed at me. I was never explicitly told that I wasn’t enough. Instead, this anxiety whispered, quietly and convincingly, within me. It was the shaking hands of my 15-year-old self racing his heart out for the love of an absent parent. It was my 19-year-old self, slapping himself to keep going and push harder up the climb because some nebulous time or position would merit the love I never felt. 

Through therapy, I came to realize I’d been fighting the wrong fight all along, and my relationship with running changed. After a full recovery from my heart surgery, I was able to begin running again, though not at the same level as I’d done before. In spite of the slower times, I was still able to get out into nature and, more importantly, spend time with my wife, whose running career was taking off. 

I could hear my internal voices more clearly than ever and separate myself from it all a bit more. Eventually, I hired a running coach who, in addition to my wife, helped support me entering into shorter distance events that I’d eschewed early in my career. Not being a short-distance specialist, I’d been afraid to enter races I probably couldn’t win. Now I tried them anyway, and I had fun. 

I realized I didn’t have to win a race to enjoy it or find value in it. I was finally enjoying running without needing it to be directly tied to my success. 

Looking back on my career and with the perspective of both age and a tremendous amount of work, I’ve asked myself if I could have reached the same heights without that feeling that I need to win to be worthy of love. 

Perhaps, and perhaps not; I’m less interested in that answer. 

What I’d like to do is go back to my younger self and be there for every track meet, every race, no matter how well I performed. I’d tell myself, “I love you no matter what happens here today. There is nothing to prove. This is just a race.” 

If you or someone you know may be experiencing a mental-health crisis or contemplating suicide, call or text 988.

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Fed holds interest rates steady in last decision before midterms
Feed: World news | The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/world/rss)
Published: 2026-10-28 19:26:41 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:03:00

Fed chair Kevin Warsh said politics played no role in pause of interest rate hikes, despite inflation remaining above 3%

The US Federal Reserve left interest rates unchanged on Wednesday during its last board meeting before the midterm elections, keeping rates at one of the highest pre-election levels seen in over 20 years.

Two out of 12 board members voted against the pause, preferring to raise rates by a quarter point this meeting, the Fed board said in a statement.

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Healey poised to overturn cut to cash Isa allowance in first budget
Feed: World news | The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/world/rss)
Published: 2026-10-28 09:55:33 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:03:00

Chancellor’s predecessor Rachel Reeves had planned to reduce allowance from £20,000 to £12,000 a year from April

John Healey is to use his first budget to ditch plans to slash the annual cash Isa allowance, the Guardian understands, preferring a carrot rather than a stick to encourage people to invest more in shares.

City experts welcomed news that the chancellor will overturn a decision by his predecessor, Rachel Reeves, to cut the allowance from £20,000 to £12,000 a year from April to get more money flowing into UK company stocks.

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A US woman feared dead was reported alive in Mexico. But police now say that isn’t true
Feed: World news | The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/world/rss)
Published: 2026-10-28 10:00:05 | Created: 2026-10-28 10:02:58

Mexican police had said they found Shayna Feinman in Tijuana, raising the hopes of missing Arizonan’s family

Arizona authorities say their Mexican counterparts were resoundingly mistaken when they publicly claimed recently that they found alive a woman who was feared slain after disappearing in 2024 – a turn of events that her sister has called “turmoil” and “heartbreaking”.

The case in question centers on Shayna Feinman, who was reported missing in rural Yavapai county, Arizona, in March 2024 at age 38.

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